Harlem Girl Lost Page 6

“Yeah. Why do you ask?”

  Kenny spoke frankly. “ ‘Cause you got to be a rich motherfucker to live over there.”

  Having heard this all her life, she downplayed it. “I ain't rich.”

  “Yeah, but your parents must be.”

  Not wanting to appear stuck up, like most of the kids from her block, Jesse hastily said, “My father works for the post office, and my mother is a schoolteacher. That's not exactly the best jobs in the world, you know.”

  “Chill down, baby.” Kenny smiled. “You should be proud that you live in a nice neighborhood, and don't let nobody tell you different.”

  She looked in Kenny's eyes. “Can I ask you something, Kenny?”

  “Sure, baby. Your fine self can ask me anything.”

  Jesse felt heat flame in her face again. “Is it true you father is Ron O'Neal?”

  Kenny laughed. “Naw, baby girl, that's just a rumor.”

  Jesse smiled. “But you look just like him, only better, and you dress in all those nice expensive clothes.”

  “Well, I can't change the way I look, and the reason I dress well is because I got my own lil’ business, if you know what I mean.” It took Jesse a moment to get the hint, and when she did she put her head down because she hadn't known he was a scrambler—a dealer.

  “Nigga got to do what a nigga got to do to survive.”

  But just as Jesse was about to ask another question, he stopped her. “Listen, can we talk about that another time? I just want to enjoy this moment with you.”

  Jesse looked up at him and saw that he was dead serious. She placed her head on his chest, closed her eyes, and let the music captivate her soul. Never before in her young life had she experienced such feelings—she was in love!

  Inside a phone booth, Tiny dialed Jesse's number. A woman answered. “Hello, Mrs. Jones? Can I speak to Jessica?” she asked in the most innocent voice she could conjure. “Who is this?”

  “I'm sorry, this is Tiny—I mean Claresse. Jessicas friend from school.”

  “Oh, yes. How are you, Claresse? Jessica's not here, if that's what you're calling about.”

  Tiny spoke with false disappointment. “Darn it!”

  “What's the matter, dear?”

  “Oh, nothing,” Tiny said. “They must already be at the party, ‘cause they're not at Vonda's house, either.” Tiny had to force herself not to laugh.

  “Party? What party? They're supposed to be at the movies tonight!”

  Tiny said nothing.

  “Claresse, is there something you're not telling me?”

  “Mrs. Jones, please don't be mad with me, but I'm not sure I'm suppose to be telling you about the house party they are having at 1132 St. Nicholas Avenue, apartment 3B.” She hung up.

  On the dance floor, Jesse felt Kenny's manhood rise as he thrust his hips from side to side to the rhythm and his hands explored her entire body. She felt an overwhelming guilt as she began to get moist, unable to control herself. After the third slow song ended, Jesse was too wet to continue, and stepped away from him. “Thanks for the dance, Kenny.”

  Kenny held her hand and stared down at her. “Here, girl, I want you to take my number and call me sometime.”

  He wrote it down and gave it to her. She noticed that his friends were waving their arms, trying to get his attention. He looked up and acknowledged them with a wink and a nod. She grew puzzled when she saw a couple of them waving money around, but paid it no more mind as he turned to talk to her.

  “Listen, Jesse, is it all right if I talk to you about something?”

  Kenny led Jesse into a back room, and Jesse looked around nervously. “You think it's okay to be back here, Kenny?”

  “Yeah,” Kenny said. “This is my man's pad. His parents are gone for a week … it's cool.”

  Not wanting to act uncool in front of Kenny, she decided to stop asking stupid questions.

  “The reason I ask you to come back here is because …” He paused. “You opened up some things in me I ain't talked about in years. You talking about your parents and all made me think of my parents.”

  “What, your parents don't live together?” she asked softly.

  “Girl, please. I never knew my daddy, and my moms died five years ago in a car accident. I only wish I had a family like you.”

  “Oh, that's so sad. I'm sorry that I asked.”

  “No, it's all right; I'm okay with it now.”

  She felt sorry for him. “But how did you take care of yourself ?”

  He shrugged. “Well, since my mother's family was from all over the South, they couldn't contact nobody, and even if they did, they was so poor they couldn't feed another mouth anyway. So they put me in a group home, and if you know anything about group homes, you know that ain't no place you want to be. So I ran away, and been surviving on the streets ever since.”

  “Oh, baby, I'm sorry … I didn't know,” Jesse said, full of concern.

  “No, it's okay. But you know what? You're the only person I ever told that story to, and now I'm thinking, why was it so easy to tell you, out of all the girls I know, about my deepest secrets?”

  He had her full attention, and Jesse silently listened to every word he said. He suddenly rose to his feet and walked over to the dresser.

  “See, all my life, I've managed to hold on to my feelings ‘cause too many people has let me down, so I decided not to trust anyone. That's when you came along. That stuff you said about family made me think how much I miss having a family of my own. Now, I know we just really met, but I feel something real deep inside of me for you. Tell me you feel it, too.”

  She looked at him and nodded.

  “I knew you did! See, all my life I had to make choices. Some was choices I was right about, and some choices I was wrong about. That's why I know I'm making the right choice now.” He turned around, walked over to her, and got down on one knee. “Jesse, can I trust you?”

  “Of course you can trust me,” she said.

  “Now I'm gonna ask you a question I ain't ever asked anybody.” He grabbed her hand. “Will you be my lady?”

  Jesse could hardly believe it as she searched his face. “For real, Kenny?”

  He smiled widely. “For real.”

  As if she were dreaming, she answered him. “Yes—yes, of course, Kenny!”

  Kenny dug into his shirt pocket and pulled out a folded ten-dollar bill. She watched curiously as he unfolded it.

  “Do you know what this is?” he asked.

  She looked down at the white powder inside the bill. “No, not really.”

  Kenny put the bill on the table and looked deep into her eyes. “That there is what keeps me looking good.” Standing up, he opened up his arms and turned around slowly, like he was modeling. “I look good to you, right?”

  Jesse blushed. “Yes, Kenny.”

  He got down on his knees again. “Well, I think you are fly, too.” He picked up the bill. “And this stuff here will tell if you are down with me.”

  Jesse didn't know what he meant by the comment and was afraid to ask. She cursed herself for being so unhip and lame. If only Vonda were in the room with her, she would know what to do. She watched Kenny take out a matchbook, tear off the cover, and crease it, making it into a scooper. He scooped up a small amount of the white powder with the match cover and put it up to his nose. Jesse watched him closely as he ferociously sniffed up the white powder. He smiled at Jesse and then fed his other nostril.

  “Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Smooth as ice, baby, ain't nothing to it. Now you try it.”

  Reluctant, Jesse shook her head. “I don't know, Kenny … I don't be digging on no heavy drugs.”

  Kenny looked offended. “Heavy drugs? This ain't no heavy drug, baby,” he said with great assurance. “This here is a feelgood drug. Shit, everybody takes a toot every now and then … well, at least everybody I hang with does!”

  She didn't move.

  “Let me ask you a question,” he said. “Did you ever take an aspiri
n for a headache?”

  She nodded. “Yes.”

  “Well, what you think this is? It's the same as an aspirin, only this is in powder form.”

  Jesse still felt leery. “But it's still a drug.”

  “What you think aspirin is? It's a drug! When you eat dinner, what do you put on your food for taste? “

  “Salt?”

  “Now what do you think salt is?”

  “A drug?” Jesse said, still unsure.

  Reacting as if she'd just correctly answered the million-dollar question, he slapped his hands together. “Bingo, baby! It's the same thing. I tell you what—just take two hits. If you don't like it, you don't have to do no more, okay?”

  Looking in his innocent face and eyes, she submitted. “Okay. If I don't like it, I'm stopping.”

  He smiled again. “Cool.” Not giving her a chance to change her mind, he dug into the powder, pulled up one big scoop, and raised it up to her nose. “Now sniff this real hard to make sure it goes all the way up.”

  Jesse looked into his eyes one final time. He nodded to her, and in an instant she took a deep sniff of the powder up her nostril. She sneezed, but Kenny already had another mound of the powder in front of her.

  “Good girl. Now one more.”

  To get it over with, Jesse quickly snorted it again. She sneezed again as the strong powder burned the inside of her nose. The powerful drug immediately started taking effect, and she suddenly felt dizzy and queasy. Kenny quickly raised a paper bag to her mouth as she started throwing up. After she finished, Kenny gave her a tissue to clean her mouth and sat her on the bed.

  “Good girl. Now don't you feel better?”

  She felt like she was in a calm, soothing dream, unable to respond. Kenny began to rub her breasts, and he undid her blouse. All Jesse could do was gaze back at the most gorgeous boy she had ever laid eyes on. He began kissing and admiring her fresh, youthful breasts as he expertly pulled down her already wet panties. His fingers began to explore her virgin vagina, sending millions of tingling sensations throughout her naked body, causing her to have an orgasm. Kenny took his time as he turned her on her stomach and kissed her with his steaming hot tongue from the top of her neck down to the small of her back with all the gentleness of a lamb. Never in a million years would Jesse have believed that such feelings were possible. In her blissful sexual journey, Jesse exploded multiple times, her juices saturating the sheets.

  He turned her over and, without warning, put his huge, throbbing dick inside her dripping wet pussy, ripping her hymen to shreds as he plunged deeper and deeper inside of her. The pain was unbearable, but she could do nothing—the drugs were much too powerful. But soon, as he continued his powerful thrusts, the pain was replaced with euphoric pleasure. Jesse had yet another orgasm as her brain registered unbelievable sensations. Kenny spread her legs wider and pounded faster and faster as he put every inch of his manhood inside of her. Suddenly, his short strokes turned into long strokes as he began sexing her like a madman. With an animal-like howl, Kenny released a massive explosion deep inside her, then collapsed, exhausted, into her arms.

  She lay helplessly on the bed, the heroin still working its magic, as Kenny looked down at her, seemingly ashamed now. He got up and fumbled around the room looking for her panties, cursing when he couldn't locate them. Finally he gave up and tried to slip on her jeans without them. After several minutes of struggling with her clothes, he grew frustrated and simply gave up, leaving her lying half naked on the bed.

  Vonda and Lynn noticed a crowd milling around in one of the back rooms and became curious at what everybody was gawking at.

  “Yo, what's going on back there?” Lynn asked.

  “I don't know,” Vonda said. “I can't see.” She stood on her tiptoes to get a better view. “Probably some niggas fighting, as usual.”

  Lynn smiled. “C'mon, let's be nosy.”

  As they walked toward the crowd, Vonda noticed people staring at them. As they got closer, they saw a female body hanging half naked on the bed. Vonda realized it was Jesse.

  “Get the fuck out the way!” Vonda yelled, pushing her way through the crowd at the door. She and Lynn quickly covered Jesse and asked her if she was all right. Jesse could only babble incoherently. Lynn turned around and noticed the crowd in the hallway still looking and laughing.

  “What the fuck are y'all looking at?” she demanded. She ran to the door and slammed it shut.

  “That motherfucker must've given her some type of drugs,” Vonda said, tears in her eyes. “We got to get her to the bathroom.”

  They carried her limp body to the bathroom and put Jesse's head under cold running water. After about twenty minutes of the cold water and puking her guts out, Jesse began to respond to their questions about what had happened. Still slurring slightly, Jesse told them that she and Kenny had been talking, and the next thing she remembered was him offering her some kind of white powder.

  “That snake nigger must ve gave you some dope,” Vonda said angrily.

  “I didn't know what it was,” Jesse said. “He said it was like aspirin.”

  Vonda stood up. “That wasn't no fucking aspirin that dirty bastard gave you. It was heroin, and he fucking raped you.” She gritted her teeth and spoke to Lynn. “Stay here with her. I'm not gonna let that bastard get away with this shit!” Moments later, the bathroom door slammed shut behind her.

  When Vonda spotted Kenny she moved coldly in his direction with the stealth of a panther and leaped on him without warning. Vonda hooked off with blind and ferocious rage as she punched and tore into his face. Kenny didn't know what hit him, and he cowered under the barrage of blows until finally his boys pulled her off him. Vonda kicked and fought mercilessly to be released, but they held on firmly.

  It took Kenny a few moments to realize that his molester was a girl. Angry, Kenny set out to retaliate, but his boys held him back also.

  Tears falling from her eyes, Vonda screamed, “You dirty motherfucker … you gave my homegirl some dope and then fucking raped her? Nigger, I'm gonna fuck you up,” and she went on the attack again, grabbing his Afro with one hand and punching and clawing him with the other. It took his entire crew to rip Vonda off him as she yelled like a madwoman, “Get your fuckin’ hands off me!”

  Not able to get to him, Vonda threatened, “Motherfucker, this ain't over. I'm gonna get your bitch ass for this shit … you best to believe that!”

  “Bitch!” Kenny spat. “You scratched my face … are you fucking crazy?”

  Vonda sneered, “Bitch? We gonna see who the bitch is when I tell all my brothers what your punk ass called me. And when I do, they gonna bury your punk ass. You can best believe that, you raping bastard!”

  Kenny and his boys put their heads down because they knew this wasn't an idle threat. They knew Vonda's brothers, and they knew that they'd murdered niggas for much less.

  Seeing the fear in Kenny's eyes calmed Vonda down. Smiling now, she said, “Yeah, I thought so … you fucking chump!” And she walked back to the bathroom.

  Half an hour passed before Jesse began to feel better, only now she was embarrassed and ashamed. Vonda was tired of waiting around.

  “Fuck them people out there,” Vonda said. “You ain't got nothing to be ashamed of. It wasn't your fault. So let's get the fuck out of here and go home, okay? We going out there with our heads up.”

  Jesse managed a slight smile as Vonda and Lynn helped her to her feet and checked her appearance one last time before they opened the door. The first thing she noticed was that the lights were on and the music was off. The second thing she saw stopped her heart cold: her mother.

  When Mrs. Jones spotted her daughter, she walked directly up to her, her face stiff with anger.

  “You lying bitch!” her mother snapped, and slapped her senseless.

  The partygoers squirmed as they witnessed the vicious smack. Embarrassed beyond belief, all Jesse could do was run toward the door with her mother still beating her from behind. The
entire place erupted in hysterical laughter as her mother beat her all the way out the door. She heard their laughter three floors down as she exited the building.

  Jesse was on her knees in the bathroom, violently throwing up. Her worst fear had become a reality—she was pregnant.

  Her mother had kept her in the house the entire summer as punishment, but a week before school started, her mother loosened up a little and allowed her to run simple errands and go shoe shopping. This had given her just enough time to go to the free clinic to get a pregnancy test. Vonda had gone with her, and as she'd suspected, the test came back positive—she was three months pregnant. They'd both cried all the way home, Vonda railing because Jesse hadn't let her tell her brothers about the incident.

  When she emerged from the bathroom, once again she dialed the number Kenny had given her at the party. She'd been trying for days but hadn't been able to catch him at home. Maybe this time she would be successful.

  “Hello … can I speak to Kenny?”

  “Kenny's not here,” a woman answered.

  Disappointed once again, Jesse sighed. “Okay, can you tell him Jessica called?”

  There was a slight pause at the other end of the line. “Are you the same young lady who's been calling all week?”

  A little ashamed, Jesse said, “Yes, ma'am, I am.”

  The woman spoke gently. “Listen, Jessica, I'm only telling you this because you sound like a really nice young lady. Kenny has a lot of young girls like you calling for him. Do yourself a favor and find yourself a good young man. Kenny is just like his father, and believe me, I should know.”

  Jesse grew curious. “Ma'am, if you don't mind me asking, who are you to Kenny?”

  “Why, I'm Kenny's mother, dear!”

  Jesse hung up the phone and began to cry. Kenny had lied to her, played her for a fool. And a fool she was, for she had believed his every word.

  As time passed, Jesse's stomach and breasts began to swell. She had to make a decision soon, because she could no longer keep ducking her parents. It was time to confront Kenny with the news. Deep down, Jesse prayed Kenny hadn't used her. She naively thought that if she hadn't been so fucked up on the drug, things wouldn't have gotten out of hand. Besides, she reasoned, she was now pregnant with his child, and she had to give this Harlem cat the benefit of the doubt.